today is short n simple.
I Miss Him Very Much
i swear. ='(

"I emptied my mind.
N think everything dat we've been thru.
Its true dat ure d one fer me.
Till now, ure still holdin on
to all my shits and craps.
I love u so much.
I'll climb d highest mountain
if ure on top of it, jus to see u.
I'll swim across the largest ocean
if ure on the opp side of mine,
jus to see u, again.
I'll dig the ground even
if ure at the core of the earth,
jus to see u,again,
and again, and again.
I love u. I do.
Till eternity i'll wait,
fer u to see me and
say dat u miss me.
Jus like ive been wantin to say
to u rite now.
'Darling, i miss you' "

Aint he sweet or wat.
dats wat he msg me
on 200902
at 0414hours.
hahaha.
sahur tym sehk.
*aku cair sial*

Bby, Ure all i eva nided.

I LOVE YOU!

the last post was from bby.
now, its my turn to express my feelings.
after prayin hard.
i feel lighthearted now.
i feel free from emotions ruining my life n ours.
so now its the perfect time to let everything out.

ive been sucky at rships.
either im leaving dem or dey leaving me.
even if it was a long term rship.
it still doesnt last.
yesh. it was very heartbreaking.
but im used to standing up and moving on.
ive neva love anione, like im loving sumone today.
ive neva care fer anione, like im caring fer sumone today.
ive neva think of anione, like im tinking of sumone today.
ive neva pray hard to god fer anione, like im praying fer sumone today.

all may think dat it was puppy love.
but we proved dat it was true love.
all may think dat we werent gona make it.
but we proved dat we did.
n will prove dat we will in the future.

it hpns when we were out slacking @ ms.
he just came bck from jb.
we all waited fer him to arrive.
altho it was late. but my heart says wait fer him.
so yeah. went home wif him and gf.
i like had to flirt wif him.
so i askd ezah fer his no.
smsed him fer like till 3am.
nxtwk i askd him out.
grew fond of him.
feelings started to get deeper.
had always been wishing on a star to be his.
tings went on perfectly wonderful fer the first month.
it started to take a u-turn during the second month.
shit hpns. hearts got broken.
tings started to stray. started to move on.
it may seem easy. but it was damn hard.
i was just putting up a brave front.
but its killing inside.
its tearing my heart vigorously.
until i decided to take away my life.
but god wants to prove to u dat i truly love u.
he din let me die. yet he hospitalized me.
but by den. i gave up on everyting.
every sgl promise. every sgl oath.
maybe its our fate to be togetha.
dat u came back.
oh god, im thankful.
we were the way we used to be.
affectionate, romantic and inlove.
BUT. probs occur.
fites btwn frens fer choosing u.
but i just dun care.
i went to u.
fer attention, fer affection and fer everything else.

dear firay,
i gave my heart to u.
fer u to treasure it.
u gave ur heart to me.
fer me to treasure it.
ive neva been inlove with someone this strong.
i scarifice my time, my energy.
just to be with u.
n yes, it is always wonderful.
and will always do.
i can feel ur love towards me.
and i appreciate every sgl ting u did fer me.
i nid u the way u nid me.
i want u the way u want me.
i love u the way u love me.
my love fer u cant compare to the smallest ting i did fer u.
bby, only u haf the key to my heart.
only u.

i love you so much.

Nope. not ila here. bt firay.

blogging is supposed to make u feel betta afta u post sumthing ryte.?

its to let out ur feelings when u aint got a listening ear ryte?

instead of bottling everythang up in ur heart?

dats wad i'm trying to do. making myself feel betta, letting everythang in my heart out.

ok. these 3 werds may be simple, common, plain & always on the use.

bt weneva i say dis 3 werds to u ila, deep emotions and feelings are tied onto these 3 werds.

maybe not tied on, i PREFER the werd embedded on.

and everytime i say these 3 werds to u ila, i wanna make sure it doesnt fly to ur ears.

instead,i want these werds to pierce thru ur body, and try its best to reach out fer the heart.

afta the hospital incident. i realised dat ure the one fer me.

not fer today. nor tomorrow. bt till my life is thru.

im sick & tired of switching gfs.

just wen im already used to being wif 1 gerl. the gerl leave me. or maybe the other way round.

den...here i go again. finding the right one fer me all over again.

and again trying my very best to adapt to this gerls's ways.

why cant i jus stick to u ila. can i? pretty pls? :'(

and also afta the hospital incident, u noe we didnt squabble much.

bt as days pass by,we trying our very best to find fault wif each other.

and if we do quarrel, it'll be a big one.

i dun want dis anymore.

i only want hepiness.

so wad if GOD gives us lots of obstacles and hurdles?

i want us to overcome everyone of it,SMILING!

i dun care if the whole werld doesnt like me and u together.

i will still reach out my hand fer u. ferever.& always.

i seek ur fergiveness to every mistakes i ever made.

u dun have to seek my fergiveness, as ive been always fergiving u, fer every mistake u ever made. be it a small one or a major mistake. ive always been fergiving u.

now,i wanna seek hepiness in dis relationship of ours.

not urs, not mine, bt ours!

im still reaching out my hand.

waiting fer u to reach out fer my hand, my heart, & my soul.

Cygku,kharmila,aku ingin bersama mu sepanjang umur ku.

(My love,kharmila,i wish to be wif u till eternity.)

kerna kau adalah hatiku.

kau adalah jiwaku.

kau adalah menawanku.

(coz ure my heart.

ure my soul.

ure my beautiful.)

now, im trying again.

trying to get my werds to pierce thru her body and reach fer the heart.

to kharmila.

from firay.